What does Tango reveal to us about what really matters?

IMG_1834Yup that’s me in the picture… and it’s fair to say that I am an Argentine Tango addict! I started dancing 10 years ago and got the bug. It has taught me that being able to do what matters in life is just as much about who we are BEING as what we are DOING. Tango is a space where I connect deeply with others without words and without thinking. This is directly in contrast to the rest of the time when I’m mostly connecting with other people through words, through thinking, and increasingly, thanks to virtual technology, through a screen!

So what’s so great about connecting without words and without thinking? Well, it somehow invites a different side of me to show up. In tango, I have to let go of wanting to control things. I have to put my ego aside so that I can truly connect to whoever my partner is and be present to follow his (or her!) lead. In that moment I feel myself melting into connection. All that matters is our connection, the music and movement we are improvising together. See this for yourself in this video of Pepe Rusconi, legend of the Tango Vals. He dances the whole first half of this dance without using his arms at all to lead his partner. Pure connection.

It’s the same dance between coach and coachee. When I work with my clients, to get to what matters most, we often need to get out of our heads and listen to what we know in our gut and what we feel in our body. Thankfully there are lots of easy and creative ways to access these different ways of knowing without having to put on a pair of tango shoes and dance cheek-to-cheek with complete strangers! Our bodies are not just a transport system for our heads. If we can tune into our bodies we can discover amazing things about ourselves. The ‘tango me’ is more powerful, feminine, grounded, seductive, fluid, and adaptable. I’m working on how I can bring more of this into other parts of my life and work, including my coaching practice. One thing is for sure…the tango ‘me’ has got more of a chance when my ego and head are not in it’s way.

Who’s the ‘you’ that’s hiding behind your ego?

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